We recently had the privilege of having Amy Osborne take newborn photos of our little growing family. We cannot even express how grateful we are. Love love love our newborn photography!!!

The night before going to the photoshoot, I was overwhelmed by the thought of taking photos as a family of 3 on earth and feeling guilt and grief for not having anything to tangibly remember our first baby, Avery in these photos. The baby I was rocking in my arms was soaked with my tears and I couldn’t seem to pull it together.

Meeting Stella has been the greatest and most overwhelming experience in my life, but this precious baby girl can never replace our first baby, Avery. She is our precious lil rainbow baby. A rainbow baby is a child born after a miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death or infant loss. The term has encouraged parents to share their stories of loss – and the babies that follow. The joy of a rainbow baby does not negate or erase the pain of child loss.

Pregnancy and parenting after loss is a beautiful mess. 

The Day of the Photoshoot

As I was overcome with the conflicting emotions of grief and joy, I prayed that I would feel a sense of peace as we spent this time commemorating this beautiful season of our lives by documenting with these special photos of our family. I prayed for peace and to feel calm and that I wouldn’t be overwhelmed. When I woke up to get ready for the photo session, I grabbed a white yarn rainbow that we used to decorate Stella’s room and brought it hoping to somehow incorporate it into the photos. I gave it to Amy and she captured all the beautiful emotions my mama heart could ever feel into a precious photo of Stella and this adorable rainbow. 

My heart burst with joy. The ache of desperately wanting Avery with us was covered with the peace that Avery is more alive with Jesus than any of us! The joy I felt when I saw that photo of Stella and that beautiful rainbow, I felt it in my entire body. Completely overwhelmed and filled with peace. I pleaded for peace the night before. God answered. He heard my cries and never ever left me.

From the moment we met Amy, she instantly made us comfortable. We felt like we had known her for years. Disclaimer: Colton and I are not photo-takers and the majority of our pictures together from the past almost decade are goofy snapshots that we don’t take seriously. Getting this guy to smile is close to a miracle! Having real photographs taken was a little daunting as we are both usually so awkward in front of cameras.