I still have the flowers.

Nearly a decade ago, after my first miscarriage, I was given a beautiful little bouquet of white roses. A friend encouraged me to dry and preserve the flowers, and I'm so thankful she did. I still have them today, all these years later. They certainly don't look the way they did when they were first given to me, but they are incredibly precious to me.

Those flowers are one of the few tangible things I have to remember my little one in heaven. When I see them, I'm reminded of the sweet little baby who made me a mom, that season of my life, and the people who surrounded me with love when my heart was broken. What may have seemed like a simple bouquet at the time became something I could hold onto, long after the flowers themselves had stopped blooming.

When you're grieving a miscarriage, there are so many things that can feel like they're disappearing. Your pregnancy ends. The plans you had for the future suddenly come to a screeching halt. Your body changes. The excitement that once surrounded you is replaced with grief.

And then, on top of all of that, you can look over at a beautiful bouquet someone gave you and watch those flowers slowly wilt and die.

I remember thinking, I don't want these to die, too.

I wanted something that would last.

So I started researching different ways to dry and preserve flowers. I tried different methods, experimented with what worked, and eventually discovered just how much I loved the process. There was something about taking something beautiful that was beginning to fade and finding a way to preserve it that felt especially meaningful during a season when so much felt lost.

When I created the Due to Joy miscarriage care packages, I knew I wanted to include that same kind of keepsake for other moms. That's how our dried floral bouquet became part of the care package. I wanted to offer something beautiful that wouldn't simply wilt and disappear after a few days, but could become a tangible reminder of a baby who was loved and will never be forgotten.

Then, almost a decade after my first loss, I found myself grieving another miscarriage.

This time, flowers became part of my grief in a completely different way.

My two daughters and I spent the entire spring picking wildflowers. We found them growing along at our neighborhood park, around our yard, in the Costco parking lot, wherever we happened to be. We would bring our little handfuls home and press them into books, hang them upside down in the laundry room, or put them in a tub of silica gel powder, making bookmarks and experimenting with Mod Podge floral projects.

And my daughters didn't discriminate between flowers and weeds. If they thought it was pretty, it was coming home with us.

There were the obvious little wildflowers, but there were also things I probably would have walked right past. A tiny yellow bloom growing in the grass. A little sprig of something I couldn't even identify. A weed that, if I'm being honest, I would have pulled from my own flower bed without thinking twice.

But to these girls, they were all flowers worth picking.

I don't think I realized at first just how much I needed those afternoons.

I was grieving the loss of my baby while spending time with my craft-loving girls, doing something simple and creative together. There was no big plan behind it. We were just walking around, looking for little things we thought were pretty, and bringing them home to make something with them.

But those ordinary spring days filled my heart in ways I didn't expect. They gave me something to do with my hands while my heart was hurting, and they gave my daughters and me something beautiful to share during a heavy season.

Looking back, those flowers became part of the story of this loss, too.

Each little wildflower we plucked from the earth became a snapshot of those spring days, when we were finding beauty together in the middle of grief.

There can be little moments of beauty tucked into an otherwise incredibly difficult season. They don't erase the hard parts, and they don't make the loss any less painful. But they are there, if we're able to notice them.

I've always loved the way creativity can give us an outlet for things that are difficult to put into words. And when you're grieving, I think there's something especially comforting about working with your hands.

You can paint, plant, press, arrange, write, or simply sit outside and notice what is growing around you. You don't have to be trying to "heal" or turn your grief into something beautiful. You can simply give yourself permission to do something with your hands while your heart is hurting.

And if you have a bouquet sitting somewhere in your home from a difficult season, don't be too quick to throw it away.

You don't need to know what you're going to make with the flowers. You don't need to decide whether you want to frame them, turn them into jewelry, make a bookmark, or simply keep them tucked away in a box.

You can preserve them now and decide what they mean to you later.

But maybe you weren't given flowers after your loss. Maybe you had flowers, but they wilted before you ever thought about preserving them. Maybe you didn't know this was something you could do.

You haven't missed your chance.

You can buy a simple bouquet from the grocery store and create something with it to honor your baby. Pick out flowers in your baby's birth month colors, choose flowers that remind you of them,  grab a bundle of baby's breath, or simply choose whatever catches your eye. There doesn't have to be a story behind the flowers for them to become part of your story.

Sometimes the act of choosing the flowers, bringing them home, and creating something with your hands can be meaningful all on its own. You can press them into a book, dry them, make a bookmark, frame them, or create a little keepsake to tuck away and treasure.

Nearly ten years later, I am still thankful for the friend who encouraged me to preserve mine. They are a tangible reminder that my baby was here, that my baby was loved, and that this little life will always be part of my story.

And the wildflowers my daughter and I pressed this past spring have become something precious to me for a different reason. They remind me of my baby, yes, but they also remind me of my girls. Of slow Spring afternoons, little hands picking anything they thought was beautiful, and the sweet gift of being able to create something together while I was grieving.

So whether you have an old bouquet tucked away in your home or you're standing in the grocery store choosing a fresh one today, you can create something beautiful in honor of your baby.

You don't need a perfect plan. You don't need flowers from the day you lost your baby. You don't even need to be particularly crafty.

You can simply give yourself permission to make something that helps you remember, because your baby is worth remembering.

How to Preserve Flowers After Pregnancy Loss

There are several simple ways to preserve flowers at home, whether you're trying to save a bouquet you received after your loss or you're collecting flowers of your own. The method you choose will depend on the type of flowers you have and what you'd eventually like to do with them.

The good news is that you don't have to be especially crafty or have any special equipment. Some of the simplest methods use things you probably already have around your house.

1. Press Flowers in a Book

This is probably the simplest and most accessible method, and it's the method my daughter and I used with the wildflowers we collected.

You'll need:

• Flowers or small wildflowers
• A heavy book you don't mind using
• Printer paper, parchment paper, or plain white paper
• Additional heavy books for weight
• Tweezers, optional

How to do it:

1. Choose your flowers. Pick flowers that are relatively fresh and dry. If they've been outside, make sure they're free from moisture, dirt, and insects.
2. Trim the stems and leaves. Remove anything you don't want to preserve. For larger flowers, you may want to gently flatten some of the petals so they will dry more evenly.
3. Open your book to a blank page. Place a piece of paper on the page to protect the book from moisture and plant material.
4. Arrange your flowers. Lay each flower flat on the paper. Try not to overlap them. If you're preserving a larger flower, you may need to press it in a separate book or use additional paper between layers.
5. Cover the flowers. Place another sheet of paper over them.
6. Close the book carefully. Then place several heavy books or another weight on top.
7. Leave them alone. Check the flowers after about a week. Depending on the flower, they may need anywhere from one to several weeks to become completely dry.
8. Remove them carefully. Once they are fully dry, use your fingers or tweezers to gently lift them from the paper.

Pressed flowers are delicate, so don't worry if a few petals break or the colors change. That's part of the process. Some flowers will keep their color beautifully, while others will fade or become more muted.

2. Air-Dry Your Flowers

Air-drying works particularly well for bouquets with flowers that have sturdy stems or fuller blooms. It also gives you a way to preserve the shape of the flowers rather than flattening them.

You'll need:

• Fresh flowers
• Scissors or floral shears
• String, twine, or rubber bands
• A dark, dry place with good air circulation
• A hanger, hook, or drying rack

How to do it:

1. Remove extra leaves. Strip away leaves and foliage that you don't want to keep.
2. Separate the flowers. If your bouquet is large, consider drying individual stems or small bundles rather than hanging the entire bouquet together.
3. Tie the stems. Use a rubber band, string, or twine to secure the stems. A rubber band works especially well because the stems can shrink as they dry.
4. Hang them upside down. Find a dry, dark place with good airflow. A closet, pantry, or other area away from direct sunlight can work well.
5. Let them dry completely. Depending on the flowers and the humidity in your home, this can take anywhere from a couple of weeks to several weeks.
6. Check for dryness. The flowers should feel completely dry and crisp before you move or store them.

Once they're dry, you can leave them as a bouquet, arrange them in a vase, or use individual flowers in other keepsakes and crafts.

3. Preserve Flowers With Silica Gel

If you want to preserve the shape and color of individual flowers as closely as possible, silica gel is another option.

This method takes a little more care, but it can be especially beautiful for flowers you may eventually want to use in a shadow box, display, or other keepsake.

You'll need:

• Silica gel for flower drying
• An airtight container with a lid
• Fresh, dry flowers
• Small scissors or floral shears
• A soft paintbrush or makeup brush

How to do it:

1. Choose flowers that are dry and in good condition. Remove any excess moisture before beginning.
2. Trim the stems. Cut them down to the length you need.
3. Add a layer of silica gel. Pour enough into the bottom of your airtight container to create a layer.
4. Place the flowers in the container. Carefully position the flowers so they aren't touching each other or the sides of the container.
5. Slowly cover the flowers. Pour silica gel around and over each flower until it is completely covered. Do this gently so you don't crush the petals.
6. Seal the container. Close the lid tightly and leave the flowers undisturbed.
7. Check them periodically. Drying time varies depending on the flower, so check according to the instructions on your silica gel product.
8. Remove them carefully. Once they're dry, gently uncover the flowers and use a soft paintbrush to brush away any remaining crystals.

This method is particularly helpful if preserving the three-dimensional shape of a special bloom matters to you.

What If Your Flowers Are Already Dried?

Don't assume you've missed your chance.

If you have an old bouquet sitting in a box or vase, you can still decide what you'd like to do with it. Some dried flowers can be pressed, incorporated into a shadow box, arranged into a keepsake display, or used in crafts.

And if the flowers are very fragile, you don't have to do anything with them at all.

Sometimes simply having them is enough.

I didn't preserve my flowers after my loss. Can I still create a keepsake?

Absolutely. You haven't missed your chance. Even if your original flowers are gone or you weren't given any, you can buy a fresh bouquet and create something in honor of your baby. Choose flowers that feel meaningful to you, or simply ones you love. There is no expiration date on remembering and honoring your baby.

What Can You Make With Preserved Flowers?

Once you have preserved your flowers, you can decide what feels meaningful to you.

Pressed flowers can become bookmarks, framed artwork, cards, ornaments, or other paper crafts. Dried flowers can be displayed in a vase or shadow box, incorporated into a wreath, or used to create a memorial piece.

You could also preserve a single meaningful bloom rather than the entire bouquet. A tiny flower in a frame with your baby's name, birth month, or a meaningful Scripture verse can become a simple and beautiful keepsake.

And you don't have to make something immediately.

This is one place where I think grief deserves a little patience. You may look at those flowers six months from now and suddenly know exactly what you want to do with them. Or you may never want to turn them into anything.

There is no right way to keep a memory.

The important thing is that you don't have to make a decision about something precious while you're still in the middle of figuring out how to live with the loss.

Creative Ways to Use Pressed or Dried Flowers

Once your flowers are dry, you can keep them exactly as they are, or turn them into a meaningful keepsake. You don't have to create something elaborate. Sometimes the simplest projects become the most treasured.

• Pressed flower bookmarks: One of my favorite ways to use pressed flowers, especially if you love to read or journal. Add a Scripture verse, your baby's name, or a meaningful date.
• Framed flower art: Arrange pressed flowers on paper and frame them as a simple piece of memorial artwork. You could include your baby's name, birth month, or a favorite Bible verse.
• Pressed flower decorations: Use Mod Podge to adhere pressed flowers to a surface such as a white pumpkin, wooden plaque, picture frame, vase, or other decorative object. Brush a thin layer of Mod Podge onto the surface, carefully arrange your pressed flowers, and then gently brush another layer over the top to seal them in place. I've even used this method on a white pumpkin in the fall, creating a simple seasonal decoration that could be brought out year after year.
• Shadow boxes: Create a small memorial display using dried flowers alongside an ultrasound picture, handwritten note, hospital bracelet, photograph, or another meaningful keepsake.
• Memorial ornaments: Pressed or dried flowers can be incorporated into a clear ornament to create a Christmas keepsake you can bring out year after year.
• Cards or stationery: Use pressed flowers to make a handmade card, note, or piece of stationery in memory of your baby.
• Resin keepsakes: Small dried flowers can be preserved in resin to make a paperweight, ornament, jewelry piece, or another lasting keepsake.
• Memory jars or vases: Keep dried flowers together in a small vase or jar as a simple display. You could add a ribbon, tag, or handwritten note with your baby's name or a meaningful Scripture.
• Pressed flower jewelry: A tiny flower or petal can become part of a necklace, pendant, or other piece of memorial jewelry.
• Scripture or memorial art: Arrange pressed flowers around a favorite Bible verse, poem, your baby's name, or meaningful words to create something you can display or treasure.
• A keepsake box: If you're not ready to make anything, simply store your preserved flowers alongside other mementos from your baby's life. There is no need to turn them into a project for them to be meaningful.

And remember, you don't have to do any of these things right away. Your flowers can simply be preserved and tucked away until you're ready. Grief doesn't have a deadline, and neither does creating a keepsake.

Consider the Lilies

Flowers have also brought me back to one of Jesus' most tender reminders of God's care for us.

In Matthew 6, Jesus tells His disciples to “consider the lilies of the field.” He points them toward something as ordinary and temporary as a flower and invites them to notice the care of God woven into it. The lilies don't labor or strive to make themselves beautiful, and yet God cares for them.

I've read those words many times before, but grief has made me think about them differently.

Because flowers are temporary.

They bloom, they grow, and eventually they wither. And when you've just experienced a miscarriage, that temporary nature can feel painfully familiar. Something that felt so full of life and promise was suddenly gone. A future you had already begun imagining came to an end before you were ready. And sometimes, even the flowers someone gives you in your grief begin to wilt right in front of you.

But Jesus points us to those very flowers and says, consider them.

Look at the way God cares for something so temporary. Something here for a season and gone before we realize it. Something small enough that most of us would walk right past it without giving it a second thought.

And then remember how much more He cares for you.

That truth has become especially meaningful to me after loss because one of the hardest parts of miscarriage can be feeling like your baby has been forgotten. The world keeps moving. People stop asking. The due date passes. The milestones you imagined come and go. Eventually, it can feel like you're the only one still carrying the memory of this little life.

But you are not the only one who remembers.

God remembers.

He saw your baby when no one else could. He knew that little life from the very beginning. He knew the hopes you had already begun to carry and the future you had started imagining. He saw the moment you learned you were pregnant, and He saw the moment your heart broke. He sees the grief that remains long after everyone else has returned to their ordinary lives.

If He cares so intentionally for the flowers of the field, how could He possibly overlook you?

How could He forget the child you carry in your heart?

He hasn't.

And maybe there is another reason flowers have become so meaningful to me after loss. Their temporary beauty reminds me that this world is temporary, too.

Flowers bloom and wither. Seasons come and go. Everything we know here is touched by the brokenness of this world, including death. But for those of us who belong to Christ, this life is not the end of the story.

We have the hope of eternity.

Scripture tells us that a day is coming when death will be no more, when mourning and crying and pain will be gone, and when God Himself will wipe every tear from our eyes. That hope has become incredibly precious to me in my own grief. I believe there is a day coming when I will see my babies again.

That hope doesn't erase the ache of missing them here. It doesn't make the empty space disappear or mean we shouldn't grieve. But it reminds me that grief does not get the final word.

Until then, I remember them. I grieve them. I hold onto the little tangible things that remind me they were here and deeply loved. But I don't grieve as though this life is all there is. My hope reaches beyond this temporary life and toward the eternity Christ has promised.

So when I look at those preserved flowers from nearly a decade ago, they remind me of more than the baby I lost. They remind me to consider the lilies.

To look at something fragile and temporary and remember the God who cares for it.

They remind me that this earthly life is not all there is, and that I can hold onto these little tangible reminders of my babies while holding onto an even greater hope for what is still to come. 

I remember that He sees me, He has not forgotten my babies, and He is faithful even when I cannot understand what He is doing.

That same Scripture is also the inspiration behind our Consider the Lilies Necklace. I wanted to create something a grieving mom could carry with her, a small, tangible reminder of Jesus' words on the days when grief feels especially heavy. The lily points us back to the care of a God who sees what others may overlook and reminds us that we ourselves and the babies we carry in our hearts are never forgotten by Him.

Shop the Consider the Lilies Necklace →

And perhaps that's what I hope these flowers can be for us. Not a way to hold onto the past because we can't let go, but a tangible reminder of a love that was real, a baby who mattered, and a God who sees us in every season.

The flowers may eventually fade, but the love we have for our babies does not. 

And because of Christ, we can hold onto the hope that one day, we won't need a keepsake to remember them. We'll see them again.